This homebrew, from the end of September is the result of:

1. Finding this recipe in Brooklyn Brew Shop‘s beer recipe book.
2. Having a bunch of leftover grain from my previous homebrew’s that I did earlier in the year.
3. Thinking, “Well, I’ll do a farmhouse ale and just use whatever grain I’ve got around, because that’s probably what people did in OLDEN TIMES out on the farm.”
4. And also because I really wanted to make some pickled jalapenos.

So, I had a bunch of leftover grain because Brew and Grow (the shop I buy supplies from and which should really be named “Brew ‘n’ Grow”) used to only sell one- and five-pound bags of grain and I never needed that much of anything since I only make one-gallon batches that need like 0.01 pounds of Bavarian Special B Malt.

This is probably one of the main reasons I stopped brewing back in April. I had to spend like $20 or $30 in order to make 8 or 9 bottles of beer. NO ROOM FOR PROFIT. And then I had all this extra, specialty grain that I figured I would NEVER USE. (Note: Brew ‘n’ Grow now lets you scoop your own amounts. THANKS BREW AND GROW, you’re the best.)

Okay, so, I had leftover grain and I found the jalapeno saison recipe in Brooklyn Brew Shop’s recipe book (with the real intention that I wanted to make pickled jalapenos) and I thought, “What could possibly go wrong by using a bunch of random grains and not really following the directions and grain amounts in the recipe?”

Well, the beer is NOT GOOD. I mean, it’s okay. You take your first sip and you’re hit with HOT HOT HOT STEAMING BURNING MY TONGUE SPICY THIS TASTES LIKE A PEPPER I’M ON FIRE. But then that goes away pretty quickly because you’re also drinking beer. So that part was good and you just kind of keep drinking the beer until you get about halfway through and you think, “Oh, this isn’t very good. I don’t like this. It’s not very spicy tasting anymore. It feels like I’m chewing something. It tastes like when you bite aluminum foil. Yuck.”

Of course you finish the beer, though. And then feel terrible the rest of the night (because maybe you also had a second one just to see if the first was a fluke).

But, it was an attempt at something. I’m sure worse beer has been made. This is what it looks like. It’s cloudy like backed-up toilet water:

Note: The more of these that I drank (and I’ve gulped down all but one so far), the more I thought, “Oh, this isn’t THAT bad.” So, in conclusion, I like the taste of backed-up toilet water.

Next homebrew review…Chocolate Maple Porter.