Tag Archives: Talkin’ Headline Blues

The Talkin’ Headline Blues #93

The Talkin' Headline Blues #93

If you’ve been reading my Medicated Artist posts, then you’ll know why it may have been such a struggle for me to record this song. I’m not really sure why, but it took every ounce to just do it.

Weird.

Anyway, this is the 93rd version of this series and I don’t see any point in stopping. Sometimes I think I should, but can’t after reading a headline like this:

Miss America: Butt glue and more highlights

It’s funny on it’s own. Someone took the time to write that. Someone brought home the bacon by writing that. But then, also think about how, maybe, the same person wrote this headline:

Multiple bodies inside navy yard

See how it becomes even more insane? Why do I need to know about both of those things in such close context?

Is someone who’s really excited about Miss America also going to be interested in reading news items about death? It’s possible, I guess, but I wonder….

Can you retain any of that information that your bombarded with? And how would you even read the thousands of different headlines that are on CNN.com every single day? IMPOSSIBLE.

Even if you just skim the brief, somewhat-vague-somewhat-descriptive headlines, you’ll never remember more than one or two. I can’t. But, maybe my memory just isn’t good.

Are one or two headlines all the information you need to make it through the day? Maybe so.

Usually, I just want to drink coffee all day and be left alone to think about donuts and when I should get a haircut. So, I can get by on one or two headlines.

Sometimes I wonder about everyone else, though. How does everyone else see this world? How do they navigate it? What are their relationships like? What do they hold close? And how much do they let out?

And then I go back to considering sprinkles or no sprinkles or an afternoon haircut or an evening one.

The Talkin’ Headline Blues #92

The Talkin' Headline Blues #92

Hmm…this did not come out of my mouth as smooth as intended. It did not roll off my lips and teeth like a talkin’ blues song usually does. It does not sound like the Columbia River.

My voice sounds beat up. Bruised. Hurt.

Really it’s just over-rested. Unused. Hurt.

But anyway, here are the tip-top very-best headlines for the week from CNN.com. They just never quit over there (down there?) in Atlanta, huh?

Keep churning them out, okay? Because it just keeps me giggling. And keeps me in practice.

The Talkin’ Headline Blues #61

So, some people say that the way you spend the first day of the year is how you’ll spend the rest of the year. I don’t know if I buy that. I wonder, though, if it could be the same for headlines. For news. That whatever news is in the headlines now, at the beginning of the year, will be there throughout the rest of the year in some way or another.

I kinda hope not, though, cause based on the headlines I used for this version of the Talkin’ Headline Blues, we’re in for a pretty bleak and confusing year.

Here’s a recap:

Politicians, death, signs of the Apocalypse, elections, Al Qaeda, the moon, fires, videos, shootouts, murder.

That’s just a little summary, though.

I think the funniest part of this song, or, the funniest headlines that were both in the same “Living & Eatocracy” section on CNN.com were:

Why make resolutions? Failure inspires

and

Making realistic New Year’s resolutions

Which am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to just fail? How can I fail without first attempting something new? Am I supposed to fail at what I’m already doing? Or, is CNN saying that I’m already a failure? Should I make a resolution, but make one that I can realistically fail at? Who is inspired by these failures?

Anyone have some clarity on this?

Anyway…that’s the first Talkin’ Headline for this year.