The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Abort The Earth.
I couldn’t quite decide on how to exactly phrase the small summary about this Monday’s CNN headlines, so here are three different headline haikus for ya:
Meditate about how freedom predicts scam of family.
Laws trump life in street.
Taste aliens’ Cheetos.
How freedom predicts a thousand Muslim laws.
Should life in street taste aliens’ Cheetos?
Black River rape.
Invade Muslim laws.
Kicked, begged, hiding.
Selfie means Earth deforestation.
I don’t actually want to abort the Earth. It’s a nice enough place. Nice enough people most of the time. Weather isn’t too bad occasionally. Really, I’d like to know how to get away from all the news headlines. Can I do that without sacrificing my ability to stay connected and invested in the world? I’ve got 2 kids, so I’m already basically behind the times on EVERYTHING. Was there a new movie out? I’ll see it in 2 years. Is there a new PRESTIGE TV SHOW going right now? I’ll catch up on it next decade. Is there a presidential race going on? My kid has a science project to do and I have to paint a staircase.
You see what I mean. Where can I get an objective lowdown on what’s going on? Not in these articles, that’s for sure….
- If you struggle to meditate, try this
- Let’s talk about ‘black privilege’
- How much can a river take?
- Kesha was offfered ‘freedom’ to recant rape claim
- The software that predicts your lifespan
- Is psychic a victim of her own scam?
- Thousands of jellyfish invade beach
- Muslim family ordered off flight to D.C.
- Abortion laws you don’t hear about
- Trump says Kasich should be kicked out
- Man shot as he begged for life?
- Toxic-waste sites hiding in plain sight
- Man shot in street during selfie?
- What your taste in music means
- Could lasers hide Earth from aliens?
- Cheetos cause deforestation