The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Got Pacifier?
Most get the pacifism privilege.
Death poised to fire.
Advice consoles new black hole guard.
Have you got a certain thing that comforts you in a time of great need and distress? Something that cooes into your ear and calms your blood pressure? Something that fits in your pocket that you fiddle with when your palms start to sweat? Something that has only very significant meaning to you?
Or maybe you don’t need one at all. Maybe your life is all figured out and you can just roll along easy and free. Maybe in stressful situations you just smile to yourself and know that on the other side of your troubles your knees will come out unscathed on a bed of lush grass.
Also it could be that you do have a pacifier that you use all the time. One that is part of you that you don’t even ever really have to think about. One that every person in the world can see but never enters your brain as having any effect on you or anyone else. One that you’ll never escape from no matter what.
Someone will have to rip it away from you and never give it back. It’ll probably be violent and feel so sudden and strange. You won’t know quite what to think about yourself. You won’t understand why your cries and whimpers are falling on deaf ears.
It’s like being a baby and your nipple to suck on is gone.
How do you sleep at night now? How do you stay quiet in stores and restaurants and out on sidewalks? How do you go about your day with nothing to plunge into your mouth to quit your yells and whines?
How do you live without the thing that hides you from the world? The thing that protects you and keeps you safe. The thing that makes you sure and confident and brilliant and pleasing. The thing that makes you automatically special. The thing that describes and defines and differentiates you. The thing that you never even knew you had or needed or used.
I often wonder about all the pacifiers I surround myself with. I have so many to shield my self from everything else. Some I’ve collected and others I’ve had my whole life. Who’s gonna take them away from me? Who’s gonna be the one to show me I don’t need them? I sure don’t think I can do that on my own.
What I can do is keep reading thousands of different news headlines. That is something that definitely lulls me to sleep. Maybe you need a nap to? If so, read on:
- The moment everyone is talking about
- Officer shot at Michigan courthouse
- Charge Clinton, most say
- Starbucks baristas get big raise
- What the heck is Pokémon Go?
- Will Japan end pacifism after vote?
- If you don’t believe white privilege is real…
- Bullfighter gored to death on live TV
- GOP poised to endorse border wall
- Aerosmith guitarist taken to hospital
- What to do if someone opens fire
- Country singer’s traffic stop advice
- Little boy consoles crying adult fan
- Elon Musk teases new master plan
- Supermassive black hole eats passing star
- Inmates break out … to save guard