Oily Limp Picks: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #180

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Oily Limp Picks.

Oily Limp Picks: The Talkin' Headline Blues #180
An old oily limp picks up a medal that he didn’t earn and claims it as his own.

Unarmed poignant outrage.
Conservatives at shark duel.
Blast upset sexist American Olympics.
Virginity means never dead.

Do you have Olympic Fever?! Boy howdy, everyone in my house sure does. My kids like to root for:

  • Whoever is in the lead of a race.
  • Whoever is about to or has just won.
  • Whoever has the outfit that has the colors that they like the best or is most sparkly.
  • Whoever is giving it their best attempt.

Basically they root for everyone. EVEN THE RUSSIANS. Who taught them like that? Don’t they know they’re only supposed to root for AMERICA and only as long as the Americans win a gold medal. Anything but gold is a FAIL.

Anyway, read some headlines is you need to lower your blood pressure form all those second, third and fourth place finishes. Here they are for this week: