The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Apocalypse Disallowed.
5-year-old denies shrunk apocalypse.
Feud leaves history killed.
Who swerves protesters?
A tomorrow that bullied Trump.
It’s time again to do some news headlines as a song. You know why. Before everything and everyone is banned from doing anything or going anywhere. Before every single person is isolated from every other single person and before even the Four Horsemen are told they have the wrong papers, come from the wrong place and worship in the wrong house.
So here are the headlines, from the favorite fake news website of the sagging butt fat who we have to call president, used to record this version:
- 5-year-old detained at airport
- Madonna denies adoption reports
- Everest may have shrunk in 2015 quake
- ‘Apocalypse Now’ turned video game
- ‘SNL’ rips Trump’s feud with press
- Quebec mosque shooting leaves 6 dead
- Travel ban fundamentally changes US history
- Your chances of being killed by a refugee
- Winners list: Who won what
- Truck swerves, crashes into bus
- Protesters swarm airports nationwide
- A luxury vacation, Texas-style
- Supreme Court pick named tomorrow
- 20 companies that let you work from home
- Bullied kids suffer academically, too
- Trump, we know what you’re up to