Tag Archives: songwriting

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Dance Ban: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #182

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Dance Ban.

Dance Ban: The Talkin' Headline Blues #182
Donald Trump, the wrinkly, limp bulge hanging between an old man’s legs, claps his tiny infant-sized hands after announcing his new dance ban.

Super unconstitutional twist spreads to Trump’s organizers.
My group is immigrants.
Deputy doesn’t need apology prayers.

I know this happened like three weeks ago and so much has happened since, but did you catch a glimpse of the first dance at the inauguration? Just watch it. Go ahead, let it sink in.

Now that you’re nice and uncomfortable and never want to dance with anyone ever again, think about how easy it’s going to be for a dance ban to be passed. First you’ll think it’s a joke. “Hahaha, good one, no way, don’t believe it, fake news,” you’ll say. BUT NO. It’ll happen. And why not, right? If the Trump administraion can ban people, why not dancing. Why wouldn’t Don ban something else that obviously makes him so uncomfortable?

And you know what, if a dance ban does happen, that’s okay. Because there’s already an outline of a perfect way to fight it and beat it.

Just like history has always shown, there are ways to beat any ban on anything.

Now the headlines!

Listen, New Song

Ban It All

Audio

Why not just ban everyone and everything? You can’t be safe if you don’t, right? Your chair could break under your weight and you’d fall to the floor and you could get a splinter from the wood in your wrist and that could get infected with some sort of bacteria and then that infection left untreated, because, well, no healthcare, could spread and spread and spread all over every part of your body and then it could become airborne and leak into other peoples’ eye sockets and they’d be infected.

Ban It All
It feels good when there’s no escape, right? RIGHT!?

See what I’m saying. Ban chairs, splinters, bacteria, breathing on other people. Just make it all illegal. Put us all in prison. Build walls around us. Chain us to the roof of a car. Do whatever you have to do. Just don’t let any of us people out into the world. WE ARE DANGEROUS.

Anyway, here’s a song about that.

This new one uses some elements of a couple other songs I’ve recorded (this one and this one), as well as this Woody Guthrie one. It’s nice that I can go back to songs I wrote 7 years ago and just take themes and ideas and update them just a little bit. Takes almost no time or effort on my part. Kind of wish that wasn’t the case, though. Kind of wish I wasn’t updating songs about being left behind and shut out and kicked down and dragged around.

Oh, and if you can’t read between the lines, this song is dedicated to Donald Trump, a piece of rotted chair cushion foam left out in the back alley during a week when it rained for 6 days straight. Fuck that guy and his whole entire administration.

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Apocalypse Disallowed: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #181

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Apocalypse Disallowed.

Apocalypse Disallowed: The Talkin' Headline Blues #181
A pair of tiny hands beneath a girthy chin signs an order to allow no further use of the word apocalypse.

5-year-old denies shrunk apocalypse.
Feud leaves history killed.
Who swerves protesters?
A tomorrow that bullied Trump.

It’s time again to do some news headlines as a song. You know why. Before everything and everyone is banned from doing anything or going anywhere. Before every single person is isolated from every other single person and before even the Four Horsemen are told they have the wrong papers, come from the wrong place and worship in the wrong house.

So here are the headlines, from the favorite fake news website of the sagging butt fat who we have to call president, used to record this version:

Listen

Over the Border Wall

Audio

When a wall goes up there’s so many ways to get to the other side. You can go over it, under it, break it down and go through it, jump it, fly it, pole vault it. Doesn’t even matter if it’s a border wall or a house wall or a city wall or a hotel wall or a wall in your head or heart. Just bust on through.

Get over the border wall at all costs.I’ve been think about this song for a long while now. Not just days and weeks and months, but years. It’s a old Carter Family tune that I first heard probably about a decade ago. Their tune is called Over the Garden Wall. Ten years ago I was thinking a lot about immigration. A lot about Mexico and all the countries south of Mexico. I wrote one called On the Banks of the Old Rio Grande. And another called Brown-skinned Woman. And I started reworking this one, replacing garden wall with border wall. Just fits good. But I must have gotten distracted or something because I never finished it or recorded it.

Who knew, 10 years later…

And, of course, now I’ve been thinking about it again. With so much talk the past months about building a damn wall between the US and Mexico how could I not. Locking people out. Locking people in. I didn’t really need to change much from the Carter Family version. I did almost changed the line “while the old feller was snoring asleep” to “while the old feller was writing a tweet” but I felt that was too easy a jab. And also only pointed a finger at one man. If a wall goes up who’s fault is it really? Some bigot elected official? Some racist sheriff? Someone else? You? Me? Has nothing been done in 10 years? In 20 years? In 200 years? Who’s fault is that?

If a wall gets built, climb it. Both ways. Then move the Statue of Liberty to the mouth of the Rio Grande and let everyone in and out.

Like a very wise man once said:

As I went walking I saw a sign there
And on the sign it said “No Trespassing.”
But on the other side it didn’t say nothing,
That side was made for you and me.
-Woody Guthrie, This Land Is Your Land

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You Gonna Reap What You Sow

Audio

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

You Gonna Reap What You SowWhat you reap and what you sow. That’s from the Bible. Straight out of Galatians 6. Now, I’m no Bible scholar or even much of a Bible reader, but when you pick and choose there’s plenty the good book can tell you.

Anyway, I recorded a version of “Sowing On the Mountain” after the big stinking American election. It’s a tune I picked up from listening to old Carter Family and Woody Guthrie and Ramblin’ Jack Elliot records. I kind o mashed all their versions together to make mine. Give it a try, won’t you? Might help in the days ahead.

And here’s the full text of that Bible verse, by the way. Go ahead and read it all:

Galatians 6

Doing Good to All

6 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spiritshould restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. 4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, 5 for each one should carry their own load. 6 Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.

7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.8 Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

Not Circumcision but the New Creation

11 See what large letters I use as I write to you with my own hand!

12 Those who want to impress people by means of the flesh are trying to compel you to be circumcised. The only reason they do this is to avoid being persecutedfor the cross of Christ. 13 Not even those who are circumcised keep the law, yet they want you to be circumcised that they may boast about your circumcision in the flesh. 14 May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ,through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. 15 Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is the new creation.16 Peace and mercy to all who follow this rule—to the Israel of God.

17 From now on, let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.

18 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit, brothers and sisters. Amen.

(Original source here to read some more.)