The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Ivanka Suck Your Blood.
Health care frozen away.
Video: Ivanka’s laptop threatens poisonous Republicans.
Trump’s love Nazi accidentally scared old CEO.
Did you know that part of the new Republican health care law includes free* mandatory bloodletting? It’s TRUE! Bloodletting for all! Let the streets run red! Feel the fresh cleanse of draining your veins and arteries. AH!!! SO RELAXING!!!!
*Mandatory bloodlettings are only free before March 21, 2017. In the event that this date has past, you must pay a blood fine of $1,000.00 per cup of blood. Minimum 20 cups of blood taken.
Headlines used for this recording
- GOP warned on health care
- Judge Gorsuch and the frozen truck driver
- Pastor finds massive diamond, gives it away
- North Korea propaganda video shows US jet ablaze
- Opinion: Ivanka’s role raises red flags
- How to keep your laptop safe under the new ban
- Climate change threatens couple’s history
- Woman dies after drinking poisonous tea
- Republicans dodge wiretap questions
- Dow has worst day since Trump’s election
- Couple with autism finds love online
- US man accused of Nazi war crimes
- Boy accidentally hangs himself in store
- Immigrants are scared and planning for the worst
- Trump’s first Labor pick loses old job, too
- Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos tests giant robot suit