Tag Archives: shutdown

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

The Talkin’ Headline Blues #97

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The Talkin' Headline Blues #97

There’s a lot going on in the news these days, no? I just read today, there’s this young woman whose recorded album of music went STRAIGHT TO NUMBER ONE. WOW! I better check that out, seeing as how I also record music.

And, I really like how there’s all this OUTRAGE all of a sudden about the Washington Professional Footballers team name the “Redskins.” I know there’s always been some degree of angst toward that team name, but it really RAMPED UP this Summer. And now, everyone seems to be calling for a change. Just in time for Thanksgiving, right? Hopefully the Redskins will change their name on that Thursday that we all sit down to grease our throats with turkey gullet in the name of…um…peace and harmony and prosperity?

I hope they change their team name to this.

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

The Talkin’ Headline Blues #95

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The Talkin' Headline Blues #95

Well. That was surprisingly easy even though my bones and skin feel reversed and my head is somewhere floating behind my body. (I’m talking about THIS.)

Maybe it was SO SIMPLE, though, because these CNN.com headlines were written so well. THANKS CNN. You’re THE BEST. You make everything sound so ridiculous that I don’t even have to worry about any of it being real.

It’s not real, right? CNN.com turned into the Onion, right? Pure satire, right? Because these headlines CAN’T be actual news.

Or, wait…I did get stuck on Interstate 290 heading out of Chicago Monday morning because of a…train crash. UH OH.

But maybe that’s the only real news item, right? RIGHT!? Please tell me yes. I can’t deal with anything serious right now, okay?