Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Orange Ya Glad? The Talkin’ Headline Blues #172

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Orange Ya Glad?

Orange Ya Glad? The Talkin' Headline Blues #172
Orange ya glad ya don’t done have tiny chicklet fingers?

Gold, hard, stupid man fools woman’s job-killing bleach penis.
Deadly condoms run into Obamacare training stage.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Banana.

Banana who?

(Repeat 1,562 times.)

Knock, knock.

WHO’S THERE?!

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange ya glad you don’t have to hear this joke every day?

Because I do.

Here’s a tip for you folks who are about to have your first kid. It may seem innocent enough teaching your kid this Knock-knock joke, because it’s a CLASSIC. But don’t do it. Trust me. Teach them some other better joke like:

A guy walks into a bar and sees another man sitting at the bar having a drink. The guy yells out, “STANISLAW.” The man turns around, gives weird look and turns back. The guy yells again, “STANISLAW.” And the man at the bar turns again, gives a weird look and then turns back. The guy yells AGAIN, “STANISLAW!” And the man turns around, gives a weird look and turns back. The guy, once more, yells, “STANISLAW!!” And the man turns around, gives a weird look and says, “I’m not Stanislaw.” Then he turns back to his drink. The other guy leaves the bar.

That’s a MUCH BETTER joke for you kid to report over and over and over.

Speaking of repeating the same thing over and over and over, here are the headlines from CNN that I used in this week’s song. Read the articles if you dare, but, really, you probably read something similar to these yesterday, last week, last month, last year: