Tag Archives: trump

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Trump Snakes: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #190

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Trump Snakes.

Listen to this week’s Talkin’ Headline to hear the hiss of Trump snakes

Talkin’ Headline haiku

Trump Snakes: The Talkin' Headline Blues #190
Tiny-handed President Donald Trump snakes his way out of public view followed closely by a man who is scared of what happens at restaurants.

11 official Trump snakes.
Vote sparks history exercise.
Killing orcas and people.
How video takes you.

Have you ever seen a snake in it’s natural habitat? Better yet, have you ever seen one somewhere that it doesn’t belong?

I saw a diamondback rattlesnake out west in Arizona on a trip with my family last summer. I still think about the way it undulated in the desert sand. How quick it scuttled out of view under a scraggle of brush.

I often wonder what that snake would do if it had to sit at a desk all day, or if it had to sign papers that it was unable to comprehend. I bet it’d get pretty bored and filled with anxiety. It might even lash out and tug at the arm of a visiting dignitary from a foreign country. Just to make it feel at home.

Either way, I’m sure the snake would be able to maintain it’s leathery and scaly skin, due to the many hours spent alone in the barren wastes of the desert.

Headlines used for this recording

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Russian Roulette: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #189

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Russian Roulette.

Instead of Russian roulette, listen to this week’s Talkin’ Headline

Talkin’ Headline haiku

Russian Roulette: The Talkin' Headline Blues #189
President Trump, an old, wet paper towel blowing in the wind, returns from another failed session of Russian roulette.

Russia makes senator missing.
Kremlin test calls Trump fake.
Truck cop on Trump Twitter: Obamacare hero.

It’s Spring! Time to pull out your handgun, point it at your temple and pull the trigger.

Oh, yes, it’s such an exhilarating time to be alive, wouldn’t you say? Don’t you feel all the luck pulsing through your veins? Isn’t it fun to cheat death? Do it now, before it gets banned. Or before climate change kills you. Or before you’re embarrassed to death when your Internet Service Provider releases your web browsing history.

Quick and easy is the way to go, no?

Headlines used for this recording

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Trumposaurus Rex: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #184

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Trumposaurus Rex.

Trumposaurus Rex: The Talkin' Headline Blues #184
Much like it’s closely-related dinosaur cousin, the Trumposaurus Rex is easily identified by it’s large, swollen, bloated head and tiny, baby-like hands.

North Korea opens bathroom to sitting transgender Trump.
Happy old dinosaur spews Russian Trump testosterone abuse.
You!

Do you understand the connection here? Tyrannosaurus rex translates to KING TYRANT LIZARD. Can we all just agree to refer to Donald Trump, our president and an old toothbrush used to polish shoes, as King Tyrant Lizard? It is only a matter of time (days? hours? minutes?) until he devours everything.

Anyway, here are the headlines from today used to create this version of the Talkin’ Headline Blues. Listen to the song while you read them. It’s fun!

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

POTUS COITUS: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #183

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: POTUS COITUS.

POTUS COITUS: The Talkin' Headline Blues #183
POTUS COITUS is defined as using an object of strength and virility to distract from obvious shortcomings.

Removed White House bans voters.
From big controversy you find Trump sex.
Busy brand not fake black.

These are exciting times we live in, amiright?! And to prove it, here are the headlines form this week that I used in this version of the Talkin’ Headline Blues:

Listen, Rewritten Song

Get Up & Shout (Version 2)

Audio

I’ve gone and rewritten another of my old songs. This time Get Up & Shout form all the way back in 2012. After you’ve had a chance to listen to the new tune, go ahead and click on over to revisit the original.

Pretty big difference, huh?

It’s that Carter Family again

Just like the tune from a couple week’s ago, Trump is Working on a Building, for the updated version of Get Up & Shout I used an old Carter Family melody. This time I went for an old favorite of mine The Cannonball (or Cannonball Blues).

Didn’t really have any reason for using it other than I thought it would be easy for the words from my original tune to be squashed into that melody. Of course that didn’t work out as smoothly as I figured it would.

Made me get up and shout

Lyric work for Get Up & Shout (Version 2)For whatever reason I really got bogged down in what the new version of the song was about. What the meaning behind it would become. With these rewrites I really try not to do that because then as I force old words I’ve rewritten, that were about something completely different (usually that I’ve forgotten), into some kind of new meaning the song gets harder and harder to write. And I get frustrated. So this version had many multiples of rewrites. But I think I finally got it where I want it this morning.

From revival to protest

It’s now a little bit Cannonball Blues and a little bit Woody Guthrie’s Baltimore to Washington and a little bit protest song against Donald Trump. Now, he’s not specifically named, but I think I threw in some key words and phrases that alert you to the Orange One’s presence. So the tune went from being a tent-revival-church-happening-type song in the original recording to something that’s a little more contemporary in subject.

Not sure Get Up & Shout is completely done. Might even need a new title now too. Something like the Donaldbald Blues or the Orange Express Blues or the Trump Hump. But at some point you just have to shrug your shoulders and move on to the next thing. Not sure if this version is an improvement or not on the original, but it’s at least some kind of movement on the original and that’s really all I was going for.