The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Trump Nuts.

Dragon devastation during debates.
In new parents hot bumps found.
Trump nuts.
Unearthing human who flips.
You know all about Truck Nuts, right? So, my question is, how long are we, as Americans, going to have to wait until we can get some amazing, classy Trump Nuts? Are we going to have to wait ALL THE WAY until January 21, 2017? Because I need my Trump Nuts now! That’s how America will be great again. It’s the ONLY WAY.
Trump Nuts or BUST!
And, of course, here are the CNN headlines I used for this week’s talkin’ blues song. Use them to get your mind off of Trump’s shiny golden testicles. IF YOU CAN.
- Deep ‘dragon hole’ discovered in ocean
- Maryland flood devastation
- Officer shot during chase
- Trump wants to reschedule debates
- Australian athletes ‘robbed’ in Rio
- Jon Stewart gets new gig at HBO
- What keeps parents away from the NICU?
- Deadly hot air balloon crash raises legal issues
- Colbert bumps — into legal trouble
- Cancer found in million-year-old fossil
- McCain: Trump is not the GOP
- Thieves are going nuts for these
- Unearthing shipwrecks in Lake Michigan
- Human chain reaches trapped woman
- The son who put Khans in spotlight
- Car goes airborne, flips 5 times