Tag Archives: current events

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Planetary Baby: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #187

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Planetary Baby.

Planetary Baby: The Talkin' Headline Blues #187
A planetary baby shows off his flag pin. He put it on himself!

Challengers in Trump Court probe huge, clever children with nomination.
Fine airplanes!
Planetary baby kills enemy.

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Ban Backlash: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #186

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Ban Backlash.

Ban Backlash: The Talkin' Headline Blues #186
President Trump, whose favorite meal is cold spaghetti and tampons from the trash, attempts to ban backlash with Scotch tape.

Ban backlash has Supreme Court  blast health probe at turban mosques.
Why Chicago Mexican shuns Twitter Trump.

Ah yes, can you feel the goodness of it? Do you find its warm embrace to be soothing and relaxing? Does it lull you to sleep after a long day hunched over at a desk? I sure bet it does. IT FEELS GREAT!

I’m going to say it here first: Bans are the new black.

And now the headlines of the day:

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Leak Decollation: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #185

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Leak Decollation.

Leak Decollation: The Talkin' Headline Blues #185
A White House staff member checks President Donald Trump’s face for any evidence of leak decollation.

Screw Trump history agenda.
Crowd of leaks beheaded at employee court.
Hear about Pentagon sex ed photoshoot.

So let me get this straight: Leaks bad, secrets good. Okay, got it. Thanks White House.

Here are the leak-filled headlines used to cobble together this week’s Talkin’ Headline:

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

Trumposaurus Rex: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #184

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: Trumposaurus Rex.

Trumposaurus Rex: The Talkin' Headline Blues #184
Much like it’s closely-related dinosaur cousin, the Trumposaurus Rex is easily identified by it’s large, swollen, bloated head and tiny, baby-like hands.

North Korea opens bathroom to sitting transgender Trump.
Happy old dinosaur spews Russian Trump testosterone abuse.
You!

Do you understand the connection here? Tyrannosaurus rex translates to KING TYRANT LIZARD. Can we all just agree to refer to Donald Trump, our president and an old toothbrush used to polish shoes, as King Tyrant Lizard? It is only a matter of time (days? hours? minutes?) until he devours everything.

Anyway, here are the headlines from today used to create this version of the Talkin’ Headline Blues. Listen to the song while you read them. It’s fun!

Listen, Talkin' Headline Blues

POTUS COITUS: The Talkin’ Headline Blues #183

Audio

The Talkin’ Headline Blues is a weekly series of recordings using unedited headlines from CNN.com written as a song. This week’s topic: POTUS COITUS.

POTUS COITUS: The Talkin' Headline Blues #183
POTUS COITUS is defined as using an object of strength and virility to distract from obvious shortcomings.

Removed White House bans voters.
From big controversy you find Trump sex.
Busy brand not fake black.

These are exciting times we live in, amiright?! And to prove it, here are the headlines form this week that I used in this version of the Talkin’ Headline Blues: